Outlast Herpes
Outlast Herpes
Q: One or both of us are infected. Can we still have children?
A: Yes.
Q: Can we have children the normal, non-infected way?
A: No.
Q: In what ways can we achieve a pregnancy?
A: If the woman is non-infected, and she does not contract the disease during pregnancy, then she can have a normal birth. An infected woman, however, will need to have a C-section to prevent the baby from contracting Herpes as s/he passes through the birth canal (viral shedding).
The March of Dimes has an important FAQ here about Pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Infections (includes Genital Herpes) .
Q: How can we get pregnant if we can't risk penetration during intercourse?
A: Artificial insemination.
Q: What are the risks a non-infected woman will contract Herpes through her infected partner's sperm in the course of artificial insemination?
A: Unknown. While artificial insemination is not a new procedure, and has many years of tried and tested techniques, nevertheless it stands to reason that there may be some measure of risk involved, however small.
Q: What about hiring a surrogate?
A: This comes down to the unwritten rule of responsibility of non-contagion. It is ok to risk exposure for yourself. It is not ok to transfer that risk to another person. If you are unwilling to accept that risk yourself, then you cannot ask another to do so in your stead. The desire for children does not negate your underlying responsibility of non-contagion towards others.
Q: Have we no other options?
A: There are an uncountable number of children waiting for adoption. Most are not babies. It takes a strong person to become a parent to a child who has already been partially raised by someone else. One and all, they will have issues, some medical, some psychological, some just behavioral. Their craving for the unconditional love naturally granted to children raised by the people they were born to is all-consuming. Herpes is not life-threatening; your life as a parent will not be cut short due to this virus. You know how to protect others from exposure. Consider adoption.
Here's a thought. How many children are there, waiting for adoptive parents, who themselves have Herpes? Wouldn't that make you the ideal parents? Just my two cents.
Q: We were hoping to have a large family. If the women is the IP (infected person) and goes forward with pregnancy, and a C-section, how many children can she hope to give birth to?
A: C-sections will leave a permanent weakness in the uterine wall. Multiple C-sections carry an extremely high risk of complications, to both mother and child, including death. This is a question that can only be addressed by a woman and her medical team.
Q: Is that the limit of our options?
A: If the woman is non-infected, and does not wish to risk exposure, no matter how low that risk is, artificial insemination using donor sperm is an option.
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